That Balls Outta Here » Aramis Ramirez

Aramis Ramirez is Newest Guy Who Shouldn’t Replace Jimmy Rollins

Justin Klugh — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:45:45 +0000

Everybody keeps tossing this word “interesting” around, as if it’s synonomous with “anxiety-ridden” or “bullshit.”

You know, I swore my days of screaming things out loud while typing them in all caps were over. And yet again, the offseason has sent me spiraling off the wagon. Maybe if the Phillies wouldn’t do things like start showing interest in the Cubs’ Aramis Ramirez, I wouldn’t have to suffer through sleepless nights, wondering if my J-Roll jersey is going to be rendered obsolete by him signing somewhere else or me sobbing into it.

Maybe if everybody could just be friends and no one was threatening to rip off the face of the franchise, I wouldn’t have this festering sizzle in my gut. People keep saying it’s indigestion or maybe a tapeworm, but I know it’s just the stress this time of year puts on me. (more…)

Phillies Reveal Post All Star Game Strategy of Only Winning for Non Aces

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 03:30:53 +0000

I am absolutely shocked that Roy Halladay has not figured out how the regulate the temperate during games that he pitches. I mean, he seems to be able to do a bunch of things that normal humans have a difficult time with, so I do not believe that controlling the weather with his mind is outside the realm of possibilities. (more…)

Jose Contreras Forgets, Remembers How To Pitch in Relief

Justin Klugh — Fri, 21 May 2010 15:13:36 +0000

In the 8th inning and a lead of three runs or less, it is a familiar sight to have the bullpen gate squeak open, and, amidst a sea of loyal cheers and one of the four classic rock songs WMMR will play, the Phillies closer will come scampering toward the mound from the outfield, get three outs, we all get to here Drama from Entourage” scream “VICTORY!!” and then it’s off to swear loudly at each other in the parking lot as we all simultaneously head for I-95.

That man was Brad Lidge.

Who knows where Brad is these days? Alone in the desert? Trapped in the hypercube? The 15 day disabled list (Yes, that one)? The point is, even if he were here, his days of a functioning slider and falling to his knees with joy are behind him, and we are left with a rusty toolbox of decisions to make.

One of those tools is Jose Contreras, who, after over two decades in professional baseball, recorded his first save just the other day. And last night, as hard as he tried not to, he got his second.

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