A Very Phillies Thanksgiving – Part One

Football on Thanksgiving just hasn’t been the same since Barry Sanders retired. Image Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Thursday is Thanksgiving Day – a holiday more commonly associated with football than it is with baseball.  That’s mostly because the NFL has three games scheduled for Thanksgiving, while Major League Baseball has (unwisely?) chosen not to schedule any.  MLB execs are always wondering how they can expand their sport’s popularity.  I think a good way to do that would be to try to grab some of that Thanksgiving glory for themselves.  Why not designate one or two games each season to be played on Thanksgiving?

I realize there might be a few logistical problems with this plan. For instance, what if that game was needed to decide one of the playoff races?  Would they have to go back and replay the entire playoffs?

One quick workaround would be to schedule the game between crappy teams like the Marlins and Astros.  You could argue that it wouldn’t be a good idea to feature the league’s worst teams in a showcase game, but consider that the NFL inflicts the Detroit Lions upon us every year, and it hasn’t seemed to hurt that league’s popularity.

I mean, the Lions game has been borderline unwatchable since Barry Sanders retired back in 1999.  At least when Sanders was around, we got to watch the league’s most exciting player.  Sure, the game might have sucked, but we could count on Sanders ripping off at least one breathtaking run.

Calvin Johnson. Image Credit: Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

Maybe we can hope that Calvin Johnson is approaching that kind of status.  Can we get him to outleap three defenders for a ball and then break a few ankles en route to the end zone each year?  Is that too much to ask for?

Anyway, since this is a Phillies site, I wanted to get this post back on topic and compare items on my family’s Thanksgiving table to members of the Phillies.  Remember, that this is MY family’s Thanksgiving table.  So if your whole family is vegan, and serves tofurkey instead of turkey, that’s great, but sadly, I’m not going to discuss tofurkey. You know what?  Because I mentioned it, now I feel obligated to talk about tofurkey.  I hope you’re happy.

Lasagna – Ryan Howard

When my wife celebrated Thanksgiving with her family, lasagna was the centerpiece of the Thanksgiving meal.  But these days, she spends Thanksgiving with my family, and they have much different opinions on the subject of lasagna at Thanksgiving.

To them, the lasagna is not necessary with so many other foods around to choose from.  I’ve also heard the argument that the lasagna dish takes up way too much space at the table; space that could be used on other food items which would make the meal better.

This has caused quite a deal of tension between the pro-lasagna and anti-lasagna crowd.  There are some members of the family who probably wish that the lasagna would go away forever.  They’d probably even pay money just to be rid of it at this point.

Tofurkey – Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez

There’s a chance you’ve been reading this, and have absolutely no idea what a tofurkey is.  To clarify, a tofurkey is faux turkey meat made out of tofu.  There’s a chance that it might be really good.  There’s a chance it might be expensive and disappointing.  The thing is, most people have never seen it before, and have no idea what to actually expect out of it.

I couldn’t find a good picture of Gonzalez, so I used a picture of a different Cuban.

Cole slaw – Chase Utley

My grandmother used to make the best cole slaw in the world.  I mean, this stuff was GOOD.   If you were going to poll people about which cole slaw was the absolute best, most would have easily chosen my grandmother’s recipe.

Since her death, it just hasn’t been the same.  My mother has tried to replicate the recipe, but hasn’t quite been able to get it up to the elite status it once held.  Don’t get me wrong, the current version of the slaw is still pretty good, but it just isn’t the absolute best thing at Thanksgiving dinner like it once was.

Pumpkin pie – Jonathan Papelbon

Many people think that a good Thanksgiving dinner is ended with a slice of pumpkin pie.  In theory, it is a delicious way to finish things off and send everyone home with a good taste in their mouths.

Unfortunately, that hasn’t often been the case recently.  It feels like way too much of the Thanksgiving meal has been designated for dessert, and that’s time and money that could have been much better spent on the rest of the meal.  I mean, I didn’t come to dinner for the pie.

Worse, it just seems like the pumpkin pie isn’t even that good.  Afterwards, instead of happy and satisfied, I end up feeling a little sick to my stomach.

I hope this has wetted your appetite for both Thanksgiving dinner as well as some more Phillies news. I’ll be back tomorrow with a few more Phillies and their dinner equivalents.