ESPN Insider Has The Phillies Acquiring Everybody

Aug 16, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro Jr prior to playing the Los Angeles Dodgers at Citizens Bank Park. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

So according to ESPN Insider, the Phillies are going to acquire all the players this off-season.

ALL. THE. PLAYERS.

Listen, we all know Ruben Amaro is an aggressive GM. And we all know the Phillies have numerous holes to fill.

That’s a dangerous combination, y’all.

First up, Carlos Beltran which, honestly, is a realistic possibility…

"Philadelphia Phillies: The Phillies are looking to add a power bat. GM Ruben Amaro would love to deal for Giancarlo Stanton, but that may be wishful thinking. Beltran would be a nice alternative and fit nicely into Citizens Bank Park."

Beltran is old, and it’s alarming he hit only five home runs from the beginning of July to the end of the year. He also isn’t a good defender anymore, which is an area of the team Amaro has said he wants to see improve. It’s possible Ruben will offer him a two-year deal in the neighborhood of $14 million, but given his age and the decline we all know is right around the corner, I’d pass.

Next, the ever-popular Giancarlo Stanton…

"There would be no shortage of teams looking to add Stanton. The Philadelphia Phillies have made numerous inquiries on Stanton, but the Fish may be reluctant to deal within the NL East. The price, of course, would be exorbitant, likely starting with highly regarded third base prospect Cody Asche and rising from there. Jim Salsbury wrote last month that GM Ruben Amaro has long been on the lockout for a player like Stanton."

The only way the Phillies acquire Giancarlo Stanton is if Ruben Amaro kidnaps the child of someone important in the Miami organization and holds them ransom. Maybe we can finally start putting this one to bed.

Sep 11, 2013; Miami, FL, USA; Miami Marlins starting pitcher Jose Fernandez (16) and Atlanta Braves catcher Brian McCann (16) both are separated at home plate by home plate umpire Sam Holbrook (34) during the sixth inning at Marlins Park. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Hey, Brian McCann would be a barrel full of fun to have on the team…

"So what is McCann worth? A major league general manager tells Andrew Marchand of ESPNNewYork.com McCann could get a six-year deal for $100 million. McCann has been linked to the Phillies for months, and GM Ruben Amaro Jr. views him as an upgrade over Carlos Ruiz, who also is a free agent this winter."

Let me state for the record… if Ruben Amaro signs Brian McCann to a six-year, $100 million deal, he should be taken in for a brain scan, because I would fear a stroke had occurred.

Listen, I’m no fan of Ruben Amaro. Never have been. But even I don’t think he’s dumb enough to sign McCann to that kind of deal, when Carlos Ruiz could be had on a cheap two-year deal. That would reach levels of stupidity I don’t think Amaro is capable of reaching.

And, one rumor that wasn’t mentioned in the tweet, a potential trade for the Rays’ David Price…

"The Phillies believe that they’re close enough to compete in 2014 after a lousy 2013, and with a new television deal coming soon, Philadelphia has good motivation to put out a solid team for as long as possible.The decline of Roy Halladay has weakened the rotation — the team’s biggest strength during its mini-dynasty — and with no Zack Greinke type of options available in free agency this year, Price is the best reasonably attainable improvement the Phils can make. Tropicana Field is a more comfortable home for Biddle — he doesn’t succeed by blowing away batters, and can sometimes get in trouble with command — and while Joseph fits a need for the Phillies, a stopgap catcher can be found in free agency."

The trade outlined by ESPN’s Dan Szymborski has the Phils giving up Jesse Biddle, Roman Quinn, Tommy Joseph, and Ethan Martin for Price. I think it takes Domonic Brown or Maikel Franco for that kind of deal to get done. One also has to be concerned with Price’s stuff, which diminished just a bit this year. Not only that, the pieces mentioned above could probably be better used in a trade for a right-handed hitting outfielder. And Price is going to get, well, Price-y. He has two more years of arbitration left, and could see a raise up to about $15 million this year and close to $20 million for 2015.

That’s a spicy meatball.

It’s clear Ruben Amaro is going to do something this winter. The only question is, will he doing something smart, or something dumb?

According to ESPN, he’s just going to do EVERYTHING.