Don’t Any of you Make fun of Ben Revere’s Yoga Pants I Swear to god

Ben Revere less of an offensive contributor in March and April and really more of an easy target for people who like to complain, hitting .200 with a .456 OPS through 96 plate appearances.

From May until about midway through July, though, he hit .351 in 240 plate appearances with an OPS of .791. Then he got crunched in the ankle on a Saturday and ruined Sunday brunch with the revelation that he was lost for the season. Suddenly, the Phillies had a Mayberry/Martinez platoon in center, which is sort of the equivalent of the stadium catching on fire during a game, or Dollar Dog Night being replaced by Normal Amount of Dollars Beer Night. Just unarguably detrimental to the Phillies season, and unless my memory is just changing the past to fit my point, it can be said that it was the beginning of the end of all hope for the Phillies 2013 season.

It is the beginning of the beginning now for Ben, who has been healing as quickly as you’d expect Ben Revere to heal, his little cells scrambling as fast as they can up the base path of health [EDITOR'S NOTE: This is so, so bad, and I hate you.]

“Actually, I’m ahead of schedule. Doctor said I’m a really, really fast healer; think I broke the record of healing that quickly.”

Ben Revere

So Ben is recovering, which may include a variety of rehab methods, some of which have become a concern.

Ben can be a valuable part of the offense – shut up, he is – because he has the potential to be that frantic base runner, who once he is on first is an immediate scoring threat. Another year of experience under his belt as a young fellow, and his greatest weapon can be capitalized on once again. Whatever he has to do get the Phillies a player who is under 30, doesn’t scream in horrible pain as he runs, or isn’t laughed at by broadcasters when he takes a big lead off first, is welcome.

SO IF I HEAR ANY OF YOU MAKING FUN OF HIS YOGA PANTS I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BRING THE HAMMER OF BOWA DOWN ON YOU LIKE THE CRETINS YOU ARE.

Also it would help if Ben didn’t subsequently post pictures of himself in yoga pants but let’s be honest he will probably do that.

Topics: Ben Revere, Philadelphia Phillies

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