Awards! The Phillies have won the fewest.
And that will most likely not change in the near future, but here’s an instance in which it’s theoretically possible: The 2013 Hank Aaron Award.
The Hank Aaron Award is the award given out to the guy who be represents blah blah integrity of the blah blee blow home runs. Team reprsentatives include Paul Goldschmidt of the Diamondbacks, Chris Davis of the Orioles, probably David Ortiz of the Red Sox… lemme check… HA. Yes.
The face of the Phillies in this particular thing that exists for almost no reason is Dom Brown, who at one point was so much of a bright spot we all had to stay inside of our faces or get burned off the face of the earth. He cooled, then, and at the end of the season, the guy he credited with his new found success quit the team. Weeee.
There was that stretch, though, when Dom hit seven home runs with 11 RBI in like a week. He caught fire, inspired t-shirts, and the nation could only watch in horror as the lanky background dude who was supposed to be something did stuff other than disappoint the Phillies, grinding pitchers into dust. All after a spring when we thought maybe we were just one Dom Brown break out season from actual contention.
We weren’t, though. So we had to settle for things like the Hank Aaron Award. Good luck, Dom! We love you. Please don’t be traded.
What? This requires us to vote?
Better luck next time, Dom.