Phillies Hope Visit from Brian Schneider Turns Season Around

Jun 03, 2012; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies catcher Brian Schneider (23) catches a pop up in foul territory during the eighth inning against the Miami Marlins at Citizens Bank Park. The Marlins defeated the Phillies 5-1. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

The Phillies brought in some outside help to put a fire in their current club.

At 72-86 with three games left to play, the Phillies are all but already currently eliminated from the playoffs. But the team wasn’t ready to see its players become pasty, emotionless flesh piles. Their recent history is full of lightning rods and spark plugs, thriving with stoic offensive prowess, and there is no better example of such than Matt Stairs or Jim Thome.

But the Phillies went with former backup catcher Brian Schneider, who once hit a walkoff home run so grand that Shane Victorino freaked out and turned home plate into a war drum before trying to impale Schneider with a bat.

It was an interesting choice by the club, who wouldn’t confirm or deny that Schneider was in the neighborhood and just stopped on his own because he’s a nice guy who likes people. Hopefully, Schneider’s kind smile and gentle demeanor will be enough to inspire this team as they head into a critical three game series with the Braves. Otherwise, it’s time to get former Phillies great Paul Bako on the phone to put that trademark ‘Paul Bako fear of god’ into them.