Casper Wells Having Some Old Fashioned Vision Problems

Hey, we all wore Rec Specs growing up, so–

Aug 18, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies center fielder Casper Wells (22) scores the game winning run during the ninth inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Citizens Bank Park. The Phillies defeated the Dodgers 3-2. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Rec Specs? Goggles that you wore instead of glasses? The lenses were like three inches thick because your eyesight was “like being underground all the time,” the eye doctor whispered to your mother while you read a video game magazine upside down in the waiting room?

This wasn’t an “everybody” thing?  Impossible.  Next you’re gonna tell me families not going on any vacations because of the thousands of dollars of orthodontics in your mouth at any given moment in you teen years isn’t a universal thing, either.

Buncha jokesters, here.

So Casper Wells has vision problems enough that he wears goggles during games.  That way he can see clearly on his way to “0-for-7 with four strikeouts” and also enter the game as a pitcher and give up five runs.  Look at him in that picture – not wearing glasses, about to step on a bat. And Kevin Frandsen too distracted to yell for help.

Wells will be leaving the Phillies now, due to “vision complications,” meaning somebody sat on his glasses or something, and will be replaced by Pete Orr.  This has led to all manner of universally praised brilliant jokes and humor.