Charlie Manuel Plots Unreasonably Optimistic Course for Rest of First Half

Charlie Manuel recently admitted that maybe this Phillies team isn’t good like those other Phillies teams.

But it’s a new day; hell, we won last night!  Against the best team in baseball!  And the bullpen had to pitch 4 1/3 innings!  Things are looking up, as long as we break down “things” into 12 hours intervals.  Hey, sometimes there are entire things when the Phillies don’t lose at all.

And Charlie Manuel is expecting a lot of those things as we plummet towards the All-Star break.

Jul 2, 2013; Pittsburgh, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies left fielder Domonic Brown (9) and manager Charlie Manuel (right) look over the dugout rail against the Pittsburgh Pirates during the first inning at PNC Park. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

He thinks the Phillies can go 12-4 in the season’s last 16 games of the second half.  We’re 1/12 of the way there after last night’s victory.  Manuel said such a feat would be “not impossible,” which is the same way people describe the most insane, ridiculous, and horrendous things life has to offer.

With a 51-48 record, the Phillies would have the look of a completely different squad.  And the momentum – unless they won 12 in a row and then lost four – they would have would definitely be enough to inspire a series of positive phone calls to radio stations and comments on the internet.

“I was the first one to always believe in them!” they’d say.  “Give ‘um one more shot!  Keep the team together!  Ryan Howard’s contract is a brilliant piece of American literature!”

Everyone knows this is a second half team, but lately the first halves have been so, so bad (we went 9-19 June, ffs) and the second halves have been mediocre.  Plus, injuries – plus, trades; if the right deal came along for any key piece, it’d be tough to contend for third place.

Charlie Manuel is the manager, he’s got to say things like this every now and again, no matter how little he actually believes they can be accomplished.  A 12-4 run would, shamefully, be enough for me to stop crying myself to sleep, and definitely make the Phillies a trendier pick.  But it seems more like Manuel has no attached a doomsday clock to the team.

Well.  Whatever.

We won last night.

You’re gonna have to hit a lot more home runs, Dom.

You too, Chase.