July 16, 2011; Flushing, NY, USA; Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard (6) reacts to striking out during the eighth inning against the New York Mets at Citi Field. The Mets won 11-2. Mandatory Credit: Michael L. Stein-USA TODAY Sports

Ryan Howard on Cusp of Lowering Offensive Bar Even Further

“I definitely wanted to put him back on the right-hander today and see what he could do.”

Charlie Manuel

What he did:  0-for-4, 3 K’s

Ha ha ha, weeeeeeeeeee.

Nah, no one is chastising Charlie Manuel’s choice to start Ryan Howard.  And nobody’s chastising Howard for being 0 for his last 20.  I mean, we are, but in that universal “Hey, that’s bad baseballin’” way, not that “Hey, Ryan Howard’s having these really specific problems, causing the whole team to lose games at this critical juncture.”

Seems like every week there’s a new Ryan Howard.

But there’s actually a literally new Ryan Howard on his way here, if trends continue.  And it’s the Ryan Howard who has gone 0-for-24 in his career.

The one on the roster at the moment has never gone worse than 23 at-bats without a hit, but Ryan seems primed to hit that magic number in Pittsburgh.  We can only hope he doesn’t do that, and instead, catches the first pitch throw to him with his bare hand, crushes it, demands another pitch, receives it as the Pirates pitcher sobs about just wanting to go home, and then hits a home so loud and far that the umpires determine the Phillies should automatically win their next 10 games.

The end.

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