The Phillies are ripping and tearing and aching at a much faster clip.
The latest hint of misery comes from Mike Adams’ camp. You may remember Adams from giving up some home runs that were pretty annoying. Regardless, a healthy Mike Adams is a hell of a weapon in the eighth inning, so if he’s suffering any sort of issues, then things may start getting pretty flimsy out there in the pen.
“I wish I felt a little bit better, it might just be coming off surgery.”
The slip-up was all we needed for the festering lies to expose themselves. Adams tried to cover it with an immediate follow-up.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel bad, but I wish I felt better.”
Sure, sure, sure – suddenly you want super powers. We get it. It’s not a normal health thing at all. That would make too much sense.
It was mentioned prior to the season that Adams’ health issues (thoracic outlet syndrome) are the same as former Cardinals starter Chris Carpenter’s health issues – the same ones that forced him to retire. After his initial surgery, he was told he would feel like he had “a new arm.”
We can reasonably assume at this point, then, that the arm that was attached to him originally belonged to a murder convict, who loved to kill people slowly by forcing them to watch him give up late-inning home runs over the course of a baseball season.