February 25, 2013; Clearwater, FL, USA; Philadelphia Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz (51) works out prior to the game against the Detroit Tigers at Bright House Networks Field. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Chooch Surviving Extended Spring Training Despite Efforts of Enemies

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Chooch is on an extended vacation right now, his reward for owning up to taking adderall.

But his enemies are everywhere, we’ve learned, as Chooch was struck on the wrist with a pitch during a game on Friday.  Why there are those out there to wish to destroy him – most likely out of jealousy – remains a mystery, except for the aforementioned presumptions of their jealousy.

That, or Chooch is playing in a league with pitchers who have yet to master control and fortunately don’t throw quite as hard as MLB-caliber hurlers.

Taking a single look at the combined numbers of Erik Kratz and Humberto Quintero, the guys filling in while Chooch gets all Chooched out, the Phillies rushed their catcher in for x-rays.  People have been looking forward way too much to Chooch’s April 28 return to have it jeopardized by some 20-year-old’s wayward fastball.

The x-ray results were negative.

Nice try, Chooch’s enemies!  You’ll have to try something a little more accurate or a lot more cartoonish to take him down.  Ha. Ha ha ha.

But don’t, though.  We need him.

 

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