Phillies Injury Update: There are More

Just when you thought Dom Brown and John Lannan were the extent of the Phillies’ health woes, the Phillies are adding the groin of a third party to the mix!

Apr 12, 2013; Miami, FL, USA; Miami Marlins second baseman Donovan Solano (left) reacts to a safe call on Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard (6) in the tenth inning at Marlins Park. The Phillies won 3-1. Mandatory Credit: Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Whose groin is it, you ask!  Let’s find out!

It’s Ryan Howard.  Ryan Howard’s groin.

Ryan is day-to-day with a groin injury, according to the Phillies Death Machine’s latest churned-out report.  Ryan supposedly injured himself doing something incorrectly at any point in the past few weeks when the Phillies were being incompetent somewhere.

According to Charlie Manuel, Ryan’s groin is “sore,” and he is still available as a pinch hitter.  Ryan has been pinch run for pretty much 100% of the time, due to his inability to maintain and attain any form of effective speed, as a result of the horrible achilles rupture he experienced that one time.

This doesn’t quite register as The Big Terrible Thing we were bracing for, but you know what would be?  Chooch getting hit with a pitch during his extended spring training?

What?  That happened too?  Spectacular.  He’s okay, though.  Everybody’s… okay.  I think.

Except for the losing.