It’s a common lament among fans of minor league teams that there just aren’t enough uniform variations.
We role up to the park with our tightly compacted cubes of dollars, banging on the doors of souvenir shops, demanding every slight alteration or add-on patch that our heroes on the diamond wear.
“Man you don’t even know whose initials those are,” our friends say.
“I DON’T HAVE TO KNOW,” we calmly reply. “I JUST NEED YOU TO THINK THAT I DO.”
Then, as innocent shop employees watch us throttle our friends close to death, they turn and realize that maybe the team has gone a little overboard. But there’s nothing that can be done now; the Sunday home game BP hats are already overstocked, and they should probably let us all in to purchase them before somebody shakes their friend by the collar to death.
The Reading Fightins alone produced seven–seven–different style hats to wear, after re-branding. The revamp also included many different styles of uniforms so that the team can wear a different outfit for every night of the month.
Now, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs are getting in on this money making scheme, implementing a series of throwback, retro Phillies blues, only with a snarling pig’s head instead of the historical “P.” The uniforms will be worn for Sunday home games, Sunday being the day of the week when people statistically want to remember the ’70s.
Look at those things. Those are some snazzy things, with their colors all soft and inviting with their memories of a team that did not exist back then. In actuality, those aren’t even replicates of the Phillies’ home uniforms. The IronPigs will seemingly be playing their Sunday home games as the away ’70s and ’80s Phillies.
Also there are IronPigs dangle hats. Just like back then.