Roy Halladay Feeling No Pain as City Burns Around Him

It’s the little things that kill you.

Constant hunger? BAM!  Tapeworm.  It’s how the world works.  The world of tapeworms, anyway.

But not Roy Halladay.  How unsurprised are you to learn that even as he disintegrates before our very eyes – giving up seven runs, two home runs, four walks and a hit batsman against the Tigers today – and slowly turns into baseball dust that he doesn’t even feel it.

“WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE FUTURE, DOC!!” Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

No, there is no pain in Roy Halladay, despite there clearly being something wrong.  Gelb is right, Halladay’s assurances are worthless emotional currency; at this point, it’s not so much that I’m concerned he’s lying because he doesn’t care what we think (We ask incessantly because we love you, Chase!  Why can’t you understand that?!  What do you mean ‘you do, that actually make you hate us more?’  Oh wait that actually make sense).  I’m concerned he’s downplaying the truth because he doesn’t want it to be true.

Who would?  Roy is one of the rare Phillies that actually has the respect of every fan and player, almost out of necessity.  His velocity sank again today to about 84-86, from 86-88 of last week, and for a guy whose workout regimen is a never ending staircase, it doesn’t quite add up that an extra bullpen session between starts would sap his energy almost entirely.

So let’s separate

Roy Halladay is done

His aging body is rejecting his attempts stay in playing shape, his drop in velocity is due to a weakened delivery stemming from residual soreness in his lower back, a religious worth ethic has worn most internal recovery measures down to a nub, no amount of therapy can bring his speed back to where it was and the pain continues to grow in his lower back, effecting his shoulder and elbow due to a flawed delivery, and his Hall of Fame stats take a hit (not that he cares) as he tries and inevitably fails to bounce back.

Roy Halladay is tired

Exhaustion stemming from an offseason of recovery, coupled with the short term need for him to approach the season with caution, change, and yet still somehow effectiveness, has tired him out.  He went to the mound today after being unable to resist the urge to throw an extra bullpen session and now his body is making him pay for it.  He’s still just as “filthy” as Torii Hunter suggested, he’s just got to follow a stricter, gentler routine in this era and he has not yet accepted that as reality.

Roy Halladay was just a dream

The best pitcher in the game coming here?  To Philadelphia?  Madam, you are outside of your head.  There wasn’t a “Roy Halladay” here and there never was!  Don Larsen has thrown the only post season no-hitter!  When it comes to staff aces, we’ll stick Adam Eaton, thank you very much!  Wait is this an alternate past or an alternate reality.  **Blue Phanatic walks in, revving a chainsaw.**  That solves nothing.

In the mean time, the answer appears to be Kyle Lohse as he is available and is a pitcher.  A starting pitcher.  So, naturally those things make sense together.