John Mayberry Naturally Attracting Attention of Greatest Baseball Franchise in League History

Look, we all know John Mayberry.

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

UPDATE, 12:48 PM: The Yankees, clearly drunk, have called in Al Roker to handle third base.

We were there for #stayberry, #yayberry, #regressionberry, and #shitberry.  The guy is not a center fielder (but he was) and far from a consistent power hitter (but he did).  Now he’s a card-carrying member of the Phillies outfield cluster fuck, and if he’s received Charlie Manuel’s blessing, then he is here to stay.

Unless, of course, somebody came knocking, looking to steal him away.  With a surplus of equally mediocre-and-below options, somebody calling for ‘ol #stinkberry would be an anomaly, the only issue with which would be the assumption that it was all some kind of sick joke.  There’s got to be a hundred Mayberrys out there.

But, the Yankees, who are so comically full of wholes at the moment, you kind of wish that the rest of the league gets together and refuses to trade with them so they have to roll that mess into season missing most of their wheels, have apparently given  some interest.  That will never happen, and it’s far more likely that Ruben will explode trying to concoct some kind of masterful deal that will only cost him John Mayberry.

At 29 years old, Mayberry has to do something or be cast out, and though this is a new league, a .225/.279/.350 spring might not be worth whatever the Yankees have in mind.  If they have anything in mind and their interest in Mayberry was more than like a drunk dial.  Which maybe it was.

Of course, the Yankees are swinging wild at the moment for a variety of positions, including third base, where interest has been shown in not only Chase Headley, but…