Jimmy Rollins is the official charmer of the U.S. national team at the World Baseball Classic, which means it is his job to make sure everyone falls in love with the team.
Well, if my behavior at the bar last night when the U.S. played Mexico and Shane and Jimmy were on the same team again after some and then many beers is any indication, mission accomplished. But after the U.S. lost 5-2, Jimmy expressed how despite his lovable nature, this was one arena where people are not supposed to like the United States.
We need to go out today and win big! We’re not here to make friends………WIN!! Team USA
— Jimmy Rollins (@JimmyRollins11) March 9, 2013
As one of the world’s most endeared nations, America will have some work to do if Jimmy is right and their goal is to not make any friends. People tend to see the colors of our flag and think, “Yeah, here come the Americans! Everything is about to get better. Let us accept their message of melting pots and morbid childhood obesity with open arms.”
All of this while playing baseball? My god, the rest of the world is about to be America’d so hard they’re going to taste hot dogs and fireworks for a month. But Jimmy isn’t satisfied merely being the WBC. He wants to win, and if Jon Morosi’s ridiculous, accusatory yammering is any indication, he has to win.
— Jon Morosi (@jonmorosi) March 7, 2013
But he can’t.
— Jon Morosi (@jonmorosi) March 9, 2013
America, now in must-win mode, will play Italy next, who, along with batting coach Mike Piazza, just punched the friendly smiles off the Canadians with a 14-4 leaf-burning. You didn’t know there was a ten run rule in the WBC, did you? Well there. And it’s in place so Italy doesn’t kill anybody.
Jimmy and the U.S. clash with Italy tonight at 9 pm, putting Ryan Vogelsong out there to take the blame if things go sideways.