Phillies Really Banking on All Players Staying Alive

Spring Training is underway, and there have already been zero loud cracking or tearing or splattering noises from the Bright House Complex.  2013 is a resounding success!

Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Yes, any columnist will tell you; health is the primary concern for this Phillies team.  We’ve watched them crumble and die for years now, but those weren’t years in which the Phillies were making health a “priority.”

Those were years in which they made health an afterthought; players were allowed/encouraged to start small fires in the clubhouse, Jimmy Rollins’ charity event was “J-Roll’s North Philly Barefoot Run!” and front office management was telling Chase Utley to “not be afraid to take one on the knee.”

This year, however, the team has decided to put a lot emphasis on making sure players remain healthy enough to play the baseball they are being paid to play.

So, **rubs hands together** what do we do first?  You know, now that health is the priority?  Other than listing that it “…will be key.”

Come to think of it, wouldn’t health be important for any team?  Young or old, we are all cursed with these same squishy, vulnerable human bodies.  Any wayward poke or slip and we’re drained of our precious fluids.  That sort of makes walking around and stuff seem intimidating, let alone playing a professional sport.

So…. what you’re saying is we need a way to make ourselves more than human!  Okay, got it.   I’ll just schedule a meeting behind the dumpster with that guy who sells pills at the gym–what?  No go?  Well, I just thought… OKAY.  Fine.  I guess this is ANOTHER train car full of moose hormones I’ll have to dump into the Good Will bin.

"“Roy Halladay’s health is of great importance to the Phillies this spring.”—Jordan Raanan, NJ.com“Health, health and more health.”—Anthony Castrovince, MLB.com“Health, health, health.”—Chris Branch, Delaware Online"

No, we KNOW it’s the issue, but what can we DO?!  Seal all the players in an airtight room?  Put them in stasis?  Gluten free Powerade?!

It would be great if the Phillies could make it through the preseason; nay, the year; without debilitating themselves.  But let’s face it:  It’s probably going to happen eventually.  These guys are older and more liable for injury than ever before.  The Phillies can make “health” a priority all they want, but at the end of the day, does that really mean anything more than being extra careful, pulling starters in late innings, and making sure these guys don’t work themselves to the bone too early?

Every day is a gift.  A gift that our favorite/best players aren’t yet merely Stretch Armstrong’s full of bone dust.