Phillies Scout Ryan Theriot to Replace Totally Healthy Chase Utley

There’s an old saying in baseball, “If ain’t broke, call Ryan Theriot.”

Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

No one knows what it means.  It’s just one of those things you say and everybody has to agree with because it’s so ingrained in baseball lore that disagreeing with it is the same thing as pissing on Cal Ripken’s shoes.

Ruben Amaro seems to be using the mantra in his negotiations, as Chase Utley, his second baseman is reportedly “doing very, very well,” but that hasn’t stopped him from inquiring about far inferior second baseman Ryan Theriot.

“Far inferior” may be a little unfair.  Theriot has twice the World Series rings as Utley.  He’s a classic “.270” hitter, in that he has hit .271 for the Cardinals in 2011 before plummeting to an abysmal .270 in 2012 for the Giants.  In either case, he was Ryan Theriot.

Shifty-eyed, peeing-in-the-background Ryan Theriot.

Meanwhile, the Giants are in hot, hot pursuit, due to a frighteningly shallow shortstop market, I guess.  Should he go to San Francisco, he’ll spend the spring time competing with Brandon Crawford for a job either one will play with an OPS in the .630s.  What a magical period that will be.

But at the moment, Theriot is serving as a warning to Phillies fans; that perhaps this is that time of year when that small, background news item is published that winds up being the first sign that Chase Utley won’t play in a game until late July.