Jonathan Singleton Picks Absolute Worst Day to put ‘Banned Substances’ in Headlines

facebooktwitterreddit

Just when you thought we’d seen the last person who was never going to get into the Hall of Fame’s name today, the Astros’ farm system produces another one.

“Great swing, power hitter, HIPPIE.” –scouting report H. Darr Beiser-USA TODAY Sports via USA TODAY Sports

What’s that?  It’s former Ryan Howard-in-waiting Jonathan Singleton?  Give me that.

**Snatches newspaper out of your hands, skips over article by BBWAA writer column entitled ‘”The Important Thing is We Won”**

Well, I hardly see how spending most of his career in our farm system would be a relate-able factor to a… 50 game suspension?!  For marijuana?

**Rustles newspaper irritably, hurls it at passing bus**

So now we get to wonder, on the day that deep thoughts are enough to keep people out of Cooperstown, whether or not Jonathan Singleton and his amazing career that he will have now that he’s been traded for Hunter Pence, an outfielder who also doesn’t play for us anymore, will get to go into the Hall of Fame because of performance enhancing drugs (the performance in this case being eating his body weight in cereal).

As usual, there were plenty of good points made on drug use, nonsensical policies, and forced rhymes to “Cooperstown.”

Since leaving the Phillies organization, Singleton has gone 3-for-4 in the 2012 All-Star Futures game and been ranked as the #2 Astros prospect by Keith Law and started hanging out with those tough-looking neighborhood kids who go to the public school.