Phillies Minor League Affiliates to Increase Capacity for Seating, Cartoon Anthropomorphic Things Racing

The Reading Phillies have had a big year.  First, they were the incubation chamber where Darin Ruf was born, and judging by my desktop background, we are still soaking in his sweet, sweet afterbirth.

Next, they aren’t the Reading Phillies anymore.  They’re the Reading Fightin’ Ostriches, a historical name chosen to commemorate the Reading area’s infamous zoo-fights that took place in WWI to fund WWII.

But this isn’t one of those minor league teams that becomes the most storied affiliate in the game and then just sits there, being appreciated and beloved.  No, the Fightins haven’t stopped moving, like an ostrich hopped up on pills to give it the competitive edge against an enraged kiwi.

Take their queues from the big club, Reading will be installing an enormous HD video board in the coming weeks, a 30′ x 60′ monument to entertainment hung over the center field sky.  FirstEnergy Stadium will be home to the largest video board in Double-A baseball, and the fourth largest in the minor leagues.  1800 square feet of digital decor will charm children and anyone else with a soul for years to come.

Say good bye to that horizon. Mandatory Credit: Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Meanwhile, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs refuse to sit still and let the Fightins outdo them.  They could change their name to a weird animal theme, but they already started with one of those.  So it looks like the only answer is stadium renovations.

The ‘Pigs will not be going the route of the “comically large ______,” but rather expanding seating options.  The capacity of Coca-Cola Park will balloon to 8,369, thanks to the “Hot Corner” featuring 48 seats and the “Bacon Strip,” housing 127.  The Bacon Strip will be above the ‘Pigs version of the Green Monster, where most folks have been standing.  Bar stools and drink rails will be installed, allowing for a more relaxing atmosphere for those trying to prove something by staying on their feet throughout the course of an entire baseball game.

So if the Phillies are standing pat a little too much for your precious brain, maybe focus on what these guys are up to–making you more comfortable.  And there’s no way Josh Hamilton makes anyone comfortable.