“Seriously isn’t he just the best,” team asks in official press release
Boy, these playoffs. First you think one team is going to win, then the other one does! So many innings, so many pitchers, so many humiliating A-Rod at-bats, so many former Phillies performing heroic duties that in some cases mere months ago seemed to be brazen impossibilities NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE am I happy or furious ha ha ha ha hard to tell sometimes with all these broken mirrors in my house I can’t even look myself in the eye anymore.
So, while watching ex-personnel excel in the post season that so violently eluded them, the Phillies have got to have some sort of natural response. And currently, that response is to instinctively point at Chooch and remind everyone how likable he was before he figured out offense, but now he’s figured out offense, too. What’s that? ”But… but the playoffs?” No need to pay attention to those.
Not when Chooch is in line for the Hank Aaron Award!
Sitting amongst the 30 nominees from each MLB team, Chooch could join Ryan Howard as the only two Phillies to ever win the award since its inception in 1999. Wouldn’t that be nice? Mmmm? Hank Aaron Award? For Chooch? See, you forgot all about the playoffs, didn’t you. I’m sure Hank Aaron is rooting for him, unless he’s the kind of guy who goes to the movies and roots for the serial killer.
Isn’t that right, Hank? We don’t know what Hank thinks, because he is impossible to reach and also would never speak to us especially now. So we’re free to make wide, sweeping assumptions.
Anyways, as you’re watching the playoffs, think about how great Chooch was this year. Don’t think about how cool it would have been to get him a chance to show off in the post season.