IronPigs Celebrate End of Season, Suggest You Finally Get Some Exercise

c/o Boston Glove tumblr http://thebostonglobe.tumblr.com/page/2

The Lehigh Valley IronPigs spent too much time jockeying around the .500 mark to make a dent in the International League in September, running themselves right out of post season contention.

But that hasn’t stopped them from getting you to run for them!

That’s right, put down the cinnamon-swirl pop-tart for a second and listen.  The IronPigs are holding the iRUNpigs 5K and Piglet Run on September 16, this Sunday, at Coca-Cola Park in Allentown.  Money raised through registration will go to the IronPigs affiliated charities, and you could stand to win raffle prizes like that IronPigs hat you’ve been meaning to buy.

I don’t know if you’ve run a lot of 5k’s, but I run in them constantly, and the hardest part is having all of your stamina and strength and leg muscles ruined by a bunch of kid being underfoot.  Next think you know, you’re tripping over them, throwing up in the gutter, cursing out the teenager handing you a water cup, and going home with a twisted ankle wrapped in a sock hardened by your own stale vomit.  And when people are like, “There weren’t even any kids in this race, you just fell because you’re drunk,” you have to take the time to crawl out of the ambulance and respectfully scream your rebuttal to their ridiculous claims.

But that [EDITOR’S NOTE: And probably some other, better, obvious, accurate reasons] is why the ‘Pigs are holding the Piglet Run as well, for kids 12 and under.  That way you can avoid that whole process and not spend another Sunday answering a detective’s questions.

And not only that, but if you’re someone who is a far healthier walker than runner, there is the 1.5 mile Walk option, featuring FeRROUS and FeFe doing their usual antics, only in mid-walk.  You’re not going to tell me mascots aren’t a personal draw for you.  This is the Philadelphia Phillies organization–we set the bar on mascots in quality (Phanatic) and quantity (Reading).  If you’re interested in people dressed up as giant hogs, frolicking about for your amusement, then why don’t you go be a Dodgers fan or some other stupid thing.

Sorry.

Anyways, the Phillies play the Astros at 2:05, so the race will accommodate your viewing and give you a chance to win free stuff.  What’s not to like?  Other than that barf-stocking I describe earlier.