We brought too many chairs and none of us showed up.

Game Day Six-Pack Round Table: "I should have come up with questions that I would be able to answer."

About to start what will be their most critical two series of the season apparently, the John, Ethan, and I decided to ask each other questions, rather than harassing some poor Braves writer.

Chipper Jones is on the Twitter. What prompted such an old man to engage in such a typically youthful behavior? Senility? How badly is he humiliating himself? Is this like when a grandparent tries to chime in on the conversation and everyone just ignores/talks over them?

John Stolnis:  I think this is more like the odd older couple in the mid 40s at a Sea Isle City beach grinding on each other while the rest of the bar is full of college co-eds and frat boys trying to drink their body weight in alcohol. Seriously, Chipper should just stick to using Prodigy on his Commodore 64 and leave the Twitterizing to the rest of the non-elderly population.

Ethan Seidel:  This is the social media version of a mid life crisis. He’s got the car and he girl, but now he can tweet about them. I’m sure he is asking Craig Kimbrel how to hash tag as we speak.

Justin Klugh:  Larry is way overdue for his midlife crisis.  Next thing you know, he’ll be packing his car and running away with a Hooters waitroh what that already happened sort of.

Why are the games starting at 7:30 instead of 7:05? Why do I always have to work during the games? Does my boss hate me? Why does my boss hate me?

John:  Dude, it doesn’t help that you’re stealing from the company. Those post-it notes aren’t cheap, man.

Justin:  If covering my house in reminders that “Phillies rule!” really is “borderline psychotic” behavior than maybe I should fire my shrink.

We've never really bonded. I tell him about my night terrors, and he just sits there, staring at nothing.

Ethan:   I blame Ted turner. Sure, he’s not in charge anymore, but he always had I be different. At least tbs isn’t full of Braves games all the time. And don’t worry Justin, your boss is just taking advantage of you like the rest of us. When you become an eccentric millionaire, you can make your minions work at 7 and miss the game.

What does it say about the Braves rotation that Ryan Dempster feels as though he is too good for it?

John:  It’s pretty amazing for two reasons. First, that all these great young pitchers the Braves have been developing turned out to be a massive pile of crap. Second, that Ryan Dempster is a mediocre pitcher having a career year, and the fact that this guy is so highly sought after and actually has 10-5 rights, is mind-bottling. That’s right, it actually bottles the mind.

Not only that, but the Braves had to reach all the way back to 2007 and grab Ben Sheets off the scrap heap to actually make professional baseball starts during a pennant race. It just goes to show, with prospects, especially pitching prospects, nothing is for sure.

Ethan:  While I love the braves being thwarted in they pursuit for pitching, who does Dempster think he is? He’s a 3-month rental who is pitching for a contract. Wow you’ve pitched well on a miserable Cubs team, big woop. Did I answer the question?

Justin:  **Sees Ryan Dempster having great year, shrugs, begins putting brains in a bottle until passing out, twitching and drooling.**

Is there any move the Braves could make that would give them the jump on the Nationals? Also, Nationals suck?

Ethan:  With dempster turning the other cheek they might turn to his teammate Matt garza. He’s been around the block, but would still be an upgrade, and would finally allow them to get Mike Minor out of the rotation.

Justin:  Well, as the old NL East saying goes, “No one is going to catch the Nationals, because they are a very good baseball team.”

John:  I don’t think there’s anything the Braves can do to catch the Nats. The Nats do not suck. They are, in fact, quite terrific. They’ve got great young talent, a dynamic pitching rotation that does nothing but miss one bat after another, a good bullpen, and a young offense that is doing enough to win. Atlanta doesn’t exactly have a great September track record either. Remember their epic fail last year, because you know they do. The Nationals have this division locked up. It’s wild card or bust for the Braves.

How subjective would you say the Phillies’s surge is going into this series? We see a four game win streak of dramatic victories, they might see a lucky win vs. the Giants and then three straight implosions by the worst bullpen in the Majors.

John:  The bullpen will be key. Also key is the health of Roy Halladay. Doc hasn’t been himself all year and the Phils will turn to their ace of aces on Sunday, hopefully trying to lock up a series sweep. I’m not sure what to make of the Phillies right now. They’re definitely playing with more heart, concentration and discipline. Of course, that was all against a horrific Brewers bullpen, so who’s to say if they can continue to surge. I will say this, though. The Phillies MUST sweep the Braves if they want to have any shot of catching them in the wild card race. Even a series victory probably won’t be enough. I think it’s a really tall order, especially because Joe Blanton will be pitching on Saturday. That never helps.

Justin:  I don’t see what’s so unobjective about this brief win streak.  If you can’t see the magic and wonder in J-Roll smacking two walkoff hits, the Phillies playing their most exciting baseball of the summer, and K-Rod collapsing and embarrassing himself in front of thousands of people while his own fanbase calls for his head, then what are you even doing in this game.

Ethan:  It’s all smoke and mirrors. The team is taking it back to the days when they would make an august run only to collapse in September. The worst thing they can do is sweep the Braves and make Ruben think they have a shot at October.

Is Ben Sheets’ ‘comeback’ a huge success or an abysmal failure? Keep in mind there is no middle ground in baseball.

Ethan:  With only two choices, I’ll go with miracle comeback. Baseball loves a good comeback story more than any other sport. It’s the quintessential American tale, overcoming adversity to achieve greatness. Okay, I may have laid it on a bit too thick.

Justin:  I guess I should have come up with questions that I would be able to answer.

John:  Well, the guy has yet to give up an earned run this season, so I’d say it’s a huge success so far. Of course, with pitchers coming back from devastating injuries that cost the pitcher 3-4 seasons, there’s always a great likelihood that we’ll be seeing Sheets walk off a mound in the middle of an inning at some point holding his shoulder. We all hope that’s not the case, but the odds are this isn’t going to end well.

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