Cole Hamels Not Officially Signed to Six Year/$137.5 million Extension, Reports Everyone

It’s late, and things are happening.

Or, in our case, not happening.

Hanley Ramirez is a Dodger now.  There’s nothing to be done there.  Not that we would do anything.  I’m just saying that if you wanted to, you couldn’t.  Not that you could have before.  Look, just… okay?  Geeze.

In other, more important news, Cole Hamels is reportedly close to signing a six year/$137.5 million extension, per Ken Rosenthal, which we’re all very careful to point out isn’t a done deal yet, but also we all have gone ahead and acted as though it is a done as hell deal.  Cole could be standing next to the contract without any intention of signing it and Rosenthal would still be technically publishing an accurate headline.

Is this news?  I guess?  But what’s important to remember is that everybody is mentioning Ken Rosenthal’s name every time they bring this “story” up, so the guy was at least a little motivated to hear his name mentioned a billion times in the next 10 hours.  The Phillies and Cole have been “close” to a deal for a while now, depending on your definition of “close,” or “deal,” or “Hamels.”

But the only news left to hear on this story is whether or not Cole put his name on the contract and is no longer sitting in the dark, staring at a pile of money.

Which again, he has not.  But he might have the pen in his hand at this very moment.  Of course he’s probably just sleeping but we have no idea what he’s dreaming about.  Signing the contract naked?  Maybe.  Who knows.