Jason Giambi Confesses Undying Love for Philadelphia for Some Reason

Just when you thought everyone hated Philadelphia, Jason Giambi runs in and steals your heart.

It’s not that there aren’t reasons to hate our city.  Bed bugs.  Crime.  Public pool openings.  The place is a breeding ground for criminal bed bugs committing crimes all morning, then revitalizing with a midday dip to come back out and doing more crime in the afternoon.

But Giambi has spotlit an even more notoriously despised facet of the city:  the sports fans.

Yes, us!  After the broad, sweeping assumptions of extremely intelligent people from the internet, we thought maybe there wasn’t anybody out there who appreciated us for all of our broad, sweeping assumptions.  But Giambi knows a good fanbase when he sees one.

“I like playing in Philly.  …if the Phillies don’t win, the fans don’t go home and sleep.  It’s a fun combination because when you are doing really well they are right behind you, and they push you when you are struggling.”

Jason Giambi

Then he mentioned something about some time when he hit three home runs off Kyle Kendrick in one game at Citizens Bank Park that nobody remembers.  Honestly, “three homers in one game” is the kind of new age, nerdlinger statistic that makes me lose faith in the magic of baseball.  I don’t even remember that happening.  What is Citizens Bank Park?  Who is Jason Giambi?  No one knows.

Who are you, mysterious bearded stranger? Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE

However, it makes sense for Giambi to say such kind words about the opposing city before entering it.  Both clubs are floundering corpses floating down a river, bouncing off jagged rocks on their way to a water that leads to a stagnant, polluted, swampy pond where they can be forgotten amongst the slithering centipedes and parasites.

So the mutual respect they have for each other is nice to know about.  At least, it would be mutual if someone on the Phillies had said how much they like the Rockies.  Instead, someone mentioned Colorado was coming to town and Kyle Kendrick urinated in his pants and fled to the nearest corner and rock back and forth on his knees.

Being nearly unbeatable last year, until the playoffs, we made a lot of enemies.  Some of them are targeting us specifically.  But it’s nice to know there’s still one opposing guy out there on our side.  Even if it is a grizzled suspected PED-user who has mostly been forgotten.

Topics: Jason Giambi

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