Look, I now how to take a joke. All of the bullies targeted me with their ultra-clever nicknames in middle school. One of them even got “That kid who gets nose bleeds all the time,” under my picture in the yearbook. And we all spent the summer in our dark bedrooms with the blinds drawn, laughing maniacally in the mirror and smashing LEGO sets. I mean I assume everyone else did it. But it was a good joke, you couldn’t help but become unhinged over how funny it was.
It’s not often I heard jokes like that. But MLB tweeted one of its classic “jokes” last night that shook the world.
This cliche is so cliche it’s cliche to comment on it. It’s cliche to correct it. It’s cliche and actually pretty weak to use it as a source for generating content for your web site. Which makes this very blog post, yes, painfully unreadable.
It’s like a giant pregnant alien cliche-pod from a horror movie, and when it bursts open, all of these corrosive, oozing cliches will spew out and scramble all over the place, climbing into people’s mouths, up their butts, and giving birth to more cliches in the warmth of their guts.
It’s not like complaining about this would ever get people to stop. I don’t think anyone cares if they would stop. I’m just bringing it up as a brief update for everybody else: Yes, this Santa reference still exists. It’s so ingrained into sports culture that people can’t not bring it up. They can’t help themselves. No, it still wasn’t at a Phillies game.
But, whatever MLB Twitter Account. We don’t feel guilty for something that happened before a lot of us were born and also at a football game. But maybe you should feel a bit guilty for publishing a headline without a pun in it. Men gave their lives to build that enormous nuclear pun generator in the bowels of Cooperstown. If you aren’t using it to delight internet readers every second of its existence, you have wasted lives.
Speaking of wasting lives, you should probably do something shockingly original to balance out the sheer magnitude of your exposure to cliche just now.