It’s easy to be reminded of how old Jamie Moyer is. You don’t even really need a reminder, per se. You just look at him and think, “old.” Like when you look at Kyle Kendrick and think, “swirly.” It’s just part of the game.
However, the Phillies’ promotionally dominant Triple-A affiliate, the Lehigh Valley Ironpigs, celebrated this week the parts of Jamie Moyer’s life that happened before he became the oldest player to ever drive in a run.
The day before he conquered the feat, the Ironpigs were handing out Jamie Moyer bobbleheads. Instead of including his lost, droopy eyes, or giving him a cane, or giving him out with a collectible bobblehead counterpart of Abner Doubleday (When you put them together, they shake hands!), they put Jamie in his high school baseball uniform, and gave him a fresh look of youthful exuberance–the kind of wild-eyed enthusiasm that’s still in there to this day, somewhere.
We all know Jamie was a local boy who made good with the team he grew up with, winning a World Series and riding down the very same Broad Street he watched the 1980 Phillies float down in celebration as well.
But did you know that he was not always over 45 years old? Jamie Moyer was, at one point, a child, teenager, young adult, and twentysomething. He probably attended parties, went rollerskating, chased a metal hoop down a dirt road, stole a pie off a window sill, fought in a war, scoffed at the notion of “color” TV, and many other normal things that are just part of growing up.
That man still plays a professional sport at the age of 49. You’ll probably be lucky to be able to say the word “professional” at 49, what with all the toxic smog clouds turning everyone into zombies with supersonic hearing.
Go ahead. Say something.
The zombies are hungry.
Yes, Jamie Moyer is more than a novelty act for Baseball Tonight analysts to chuckle about. He is a man, with a history, and a life, and a name. And the Ironpigs saluted all of that with their portrait of Jamie as a young man, playing for the Souderton Area High School Indians.
Lord knows how many “Indians” they had to chase off that land to build a high school.
So, before you jump in on the next salvo of “Jamie Moyer’s Age is Higher Than Mine” jokes on Twitter, just remember. Some day, your creep toward the grave will become extremely evident, too. And on that day, let’s hope your as in control of your own bowels as Jamie Moyer.