Phast Phive: Phive Hundred!

Ah, money.  It’s the best, I’ve heard.  Own a lot of it, and you’ve got instant happiness.  Have none of it and suddenly you’re getting escorted out of fancy parties, rather than coerced into throwing them by your friends.

The Phillies have all the money, I’ve discovered, or at least, all of my money.  So it was was sort of nostalgic to see some of that money the other day, on a list of the richest franchises in sports.  That’s right, all sports.  The Phillies cracked the top 10, below only one other MLB team (guess who), and sandwiched between two international soccer clubs.

So they have the money, and the happiness must be right around the corner.  I guess that’s the end of the story.

What the Sixers are doing at #23 I have no idea.

We brought you some links in bed.  Enjoy.

Justin Klugh

Guys, the Phillies have a .500 record!  Which, by definition, is not a losing record. Which means the Phillies are not a losing team.  Sure, they’ve lost.  A lot.  But, um.  Now they won’t.  I guess.  Is what I’m saying.

But, moving quickly away from the concerns of that statement, let us turn instead to young Freddy Galvis, who has just been a joy to watch.  Look at him out there, scampering and sliding about, the very aura of his youth keeping Jim Thome alive.  His defensive stops are impossible.  His hustle is admirable.  His age is below 30.

If he could just hit a ton, that’d be great.  But he’s not going to.  And that’s okay!  Part of that is luck.  The other part is that he’s just not an offensive powerhouse.

AND PART OF IT IS THAT HE IS AWESOME.

Which makes no sense.  As you were.

John Stolnis

After the first losing April since 2007, many are wondering if the Phillies run of NL East titles and/or postseason appearances will end this year. ESPN’s Jayson Stark examined this in his Rumblings & Grumblings this week and his answer was a definitive… I dunno. Way to go out on a limb there, Jayson.

One thing Phillies fans like is passion. They especially love it when one of the broadcasters exudes the same passion they do. The same, crazy, ill-advised, off-the-hinges kind of passion that caused fans to boo Cole Hamels in 2009. It’s one of the reasons fans loved Richie Ashburn so much as an announcer. When Whitey would rail against the umps, Phils fans would smile and stroke their handlebar mustaches. So, it’s entirely appropriate that Larry Andersen is trending in the same direction.

Finally, Phils beat writer Todd Zolecki takes a look at the Phils’ April struggles and notes the blame can’t be solely placed on the fact the Phils are missing Howard and Utley.

Ethan Seidel

What’s wrong with Hunter Pence? Our friend Bill Baer at Crashburn Alley breaks down Pence’s struggles with some fancy charts and statistics I don’t quite understand, but what i do know is Hunter hasn’t come close to carrying the load the team expected. Not to mention he his killing my fantasy team!

It must seem like de ja vu for the Tampa Bay Rays. Top prospect, and former number one overall pick Tim Beckham just got suspended 50 games for a drug violation. The 50-game ban comes after his second violation, and must have Rays fans thinking back to Josh Hamilton. Hamilton of course was able to resurrect his career with the Reds and Rangers, but has continued to battle substance abuse. Maybe Hamilton can be a source of inspiration for Beckham that he never had early in his career.

Tony DiStefano

Hey everyone! It looks like Placido Polanco is getting better! Baseball is a strange game. As his average climbs up close to .300 here’s to hoping that he can stay healthy.

Bryce Harper is here. I know that I hate him, but I am pretty sure that I hate eye black as a whole now.