Trevor May Continues Ritual Slaughter of Eastern League Hitting

Boy, you’d think reading about how 22-years-old some of the most talented players in the Phillies farm system are would depress a guy who is a bit older and not as successful, but it doesn’t, at all.  Is it weird that I led with that thought?  Maybe that should have come a bit later.  Or, not at all.

In any case, 22 is the age of young Trevor May, a–you guessed it–pitching prospect for the Reading Phillies.  You’ve definitely heard of him, making that last sentence and several of the ones following it entirely unnecessary.  Nevertheless, the righty (you know that) just improved his record to 4-0 on the season with a 1-0 one-hit victory over the Richmond Flying Squirrels.  In four appearances and 23 innings, Trevor has amassed 26 strikeouts and eight walks with a 2.35 ERA.  That is also way more successful than me.

It’s barely become fair for opposing hitters, and not just from Trevor, one third of the reluctantly dubbed “Baby Aces” of the minor leagues.  The Reading Phillies as a whole have been a ghastly force in the Eastern League, turning AA baseball into  feast after feast of the opposition.  At 13-5, they stand atop the league in both record and team batting average (.290).  Which makes their upcoming matchup against rehabbing Daisuke Matsuzaka all the less intimidating.

Anyways, May used six innings to strikeout 11 Flying Squirrels and hurl 55 of his 90 pitches for K’s.  He didn’t allow a hit through the first five innings.  And when he did, he walk slowly over to first base, the wind billowing his uniform, and punched the base runner, Juan Perez, in the stomach.  Perez apologized.  Trevor did not accept his apology.  It was messed up.

And all of that after a solid night of ‘disc jockeying,’ as the kids are calling it.

So, in conclusion, Trevor May is one youthful, highly talented prospect that Baseball America is saying could crack the rotation in 2013.  Will we trade him for a bat?  According to the internet, yes we should.  In fact, trade everybody.  Are they good at pitching?  We don’t need them.  We need BATS.  We need POWER.  And guys like May and Julio Rodriguez and Jonathan Pettibone shall be SACRIFICED UPON OUR ALMIGHTY ALTAR OF OFFENSE.  ROY HALLADAY AND CLIFF LEE WILL BE GOOD FOREVER AND COLE HAMELS DOESN’T HAVE THE SACK TO SIGN ANYWHERE ELSE AND WILL ALSO BE GOOD FOREVER.  PITCHING?!  WE HAVE MADE IT OBSOLETE.  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  SO SAYETH I, AN IMBECILE.

Trevor May is great.  You know how much fun it is to watch Freddy Galvis make slick plays at second?  Well, picture that, only with a 22-year-old pitcher.  Yeah.  Which, remember, does not depress me at all, because I have done many cool things in my life.  Once, I rode a ferris wheel.  It was pretty rickety and a I sobbed the whole time, but I rode it.  And this other time, I thought I lost my wallet, but then I found it.  That actually happened twice.