Brad Lidge Holds Special Farewell Event for Brad Lidge

We’ve said good bye to many Phillies his offseason; merely the latest in a shifting combination of players, far stranger than the group that started all this in 2007.  With the core still intact–though in case you haven’t heard, they’re aging (probably right now)–it may be harder to really grasp this, but there’s only something like four or five holdovers from the ’08 championship squad still around (UPDATE: Maybe like eight).

Yes, it’s a part of baseball.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t nod wistfully when you think about the first time you looked up at a TV in a crowded bar and saw “Phillies Deal Bourn for Astros’ Lidge.”   I was at the Draught Horse on Temple campus.  “This is going to be good,” a guy said, nodding toward the TV.  I ignored him and quickly got back to the business of considering myself an adult whilst ordering drinks with the same names as sexual positions.

And so, despite Philadelphians’ natural inclination to turn on those who leave them, Brad Lidge appeared at The Sports Cave on Chestnut Street this past week to fight anyone who challenged him.  Actually, he signed autographs and talked about how much he loved the city and the fans.  Which will make it that much harder to turn on him.  Fortunately, this overzealously vengeful nature probably had some people asking for his “autograph” on what will turn out to be a murder confession, so don’t worry.  We’ll get him.

What’s important to remember is that this is all a very natural process, one we’ve taken part in in the past.  The next time we see Brad, he’ll be entering the game in the late innings, and despite which stadium he’s playing in, there will probably be a sea of boos, as if Brad wronged us personally and the image of him on his knees screaming “OH MY GOD WE DID IT” isn’t the icon of our adult lives.

MONEY WAS JUST SO IMPORTANT TO YOU BRAD.  Sorry.  Sometimes my instincts just kick in and I start accusing people of leaving me for the money, despite knowing the exact opposite is true.

What’s really happening is clearly that the Nationals are becoming like a deranged psychopath in the neighborhood, only instead of collecting our hair and using it to make a doll, they’re collecting our former players and using them to make a team.  The only thing that would solidify this theory is some desperate bid for our attention.  Which the Nationals are obviously too good for.