Florida State Once Again Set to be Phillies’ Season-Opening Victim

The Phillies released their Spring Training schedule the other day, and now we can start counting down the days, like some kind of person who is up to something because they keep crossing off the days on their calendar and laughing madly.

As usual, they will open the season against the Florida State Seminoles, who are still okay with the humiliation of playing us each spring because it’s balanced out by their childlike awe of getting to see a professional ball team go to work.

The game will take place at 1:05 on February 29, which is next month.  For those familiar with calendars, that is just one turn from Chase Utley to Carlos Ruiz before we start hearing scores from baseball games that the Phillies are playing in.

A quick glance at the schedule will tell you that the entire preseason is made up of 1:05 games, with the exception of the last two, which are traditionally played at home in Philly against the Pirates, and will be played at 7:05, like a real game.  This means we are in for another March of hiding that we are watching baseball games on our computers at work.  Obviously, some of our employers take issue with this, because they lack common sense.  Therefore, I want to take this opportunity to remind everyone that if you need to buy a blanket so you can cover yourself and your work computer to avoid suspicion, I can probably find one to sell you.

I suppose some of you will get to go down to Florida and experience the games in person, and to you I say, fine, whatever.  I don’t blame you.  If I had the means, I’d do the same.  But just keep in mind you’re missing out on one hell of a blanket, possibly.

Good luck to everyone!