On one of those hilarious top ten lists that includes more than ten teams, the Phillies wormed their way to the prime spot, thanks to a little common sense on the part of a guy who picked the Braves, Twins, Red Sox, White Sox, and (repeating world champion!) Giants to make the 2011 playoffs.
Oh, Buster! Why don’t you just do what the rest of us experts do and make your predictions after things have already happen, and lambast everyone who tried to use information and data to do it beforehand?
Sigh. Another year, another article calling our rotation the best. We’re even short an ace, our fourth spot is being filled by an unproven sophomore, and our fifth spot is not Dontrelle Willis. I’s Joe Blanton. Right? Has to be.
Look, you know who pitches for the Phillies. One of our starters decided to forego training this winter and just save people from anacondas. The point is, objective people are agreeing with us, so our shouting down of other people’s arguments finally has some credibility. As the Miami Heat taught us, the more hype from ESPN you receive, the more definite it will become that you will win a world championship.
But wait! An ominous note appears within this text.
“It’s possible that a year from now, we will view the front three of the Washington rotation as the best in the majors.”
**Spits out coffee**
The… the Nationals, you say? The Washington Nationals? Surely, this is all a vivid, hilarious dream in which speed bumps become brick walls. How in the name of our sweet lord Baseba’al will Roy Halladay go from snake hunting in the Amazon to second behind the Washington Nationals?
It’s true, though. Sort of. While it may take more than a year for the Nats to start a prominent presence in the NL East, they are coming. But more on that later.
No word yet on who tops Olney’s list of “Top 10 Offenses with Seasons Traditionally Ended by Ryan Howard.”