Archive for December, 2011

Ever hear a giant centipede swiftly skittering over a massive pile of human skulls?

Stay tuned for next offseason, when R.A. Dickey plans to scale the side of the Empire State Building and punch a hole in a thunderstorm.

If robot overlords have inserted themselves into humanity via a terrific baseball team in Philadelphia, then Feeny has blown the lid off the second most important news story of the decade, the first of course being Cliff Lee re-signing with the Phils.

“I had my young daughters over for Christmas, and after I realized the site had become self-aware, I made them pack suitcases and be ready to leave town on a moment’s notice. Which we did on Christmas morning and came up here,” the webmaster continued.

And, as I’m sure I need to remind most of you, there is no cheap “hitting only” position in the National League for Posada to slide into and before disappearing into retirement.

This a continuation of post I wrote a few days ago. So, moving forward, let’s take a look at the rest of the lineup. First up:

I DON’T CARE IF YOU WANTED AN XBOX ALL WE CAN AFFORD ARE USED TAMAGOTCHIS.

You probably thought, after all the pollution and beatings and Eagles football, that Philadelphia exists outside of the natural universe.  But here, like in other cities with an MLB team, we celebrate Christmas just like you, maybe.  Yes, Christmas; that holiday that’s so popular, you get in trouble for celebrating it publicly. And though the Phillies didn’t go all the way this year, there’s no reason they can’t do it in 2012.  And therefore, you have every reason to keep coming back here, to That Ball’s Outta Here, to get an overly emotionally/precisely analytic/possibly psychotic viewpoint on your favorite baseball [...]

The other day I had some fun taking a look at Bill James’s projections for the 2012 Phillies starting rotation. Continuing in the same vein, I’ll be going over what James believes the everyday lineup has in store for next year. What I’ve found are some questionably optimistic numbers combined with projections that seem reasonable enough. But hey, that’s for you to decide.

Ruben can kick back, get a very expensive shave from trained professionals, and drink a cocktail made out of other people’s expectations.