Phillies, Everyone Trying to Sign Cuban Defector

So Yoenis Cespedes is a talent that tells me I’m pretty behind in never hearing of him until now.

Where were you guys on that one.  And on’t just say, “You’re the internet, you’re supposed to keep us informed.”  Well apparently any information I could have passed on or–let’s be honest–made up, wouldn’t have done the “26”-year-old Cespedes justice.

In what will hopefully become commonplace in the business side of baseball, Cespedes shot an introductory video featuring his skills–both impressive (speed, power) and useless (catching a ball behind his head, twice)–and included a shout out to Ahman Green and a bloody pig carcass about be cooked over a fire.

All right.

You have Ruben Amaro’s attention.

Hundreds of scouts turned out to Cespedes’ latest workout in the Dominican Republic, representing every team, even the ones who don’t normally show up if they know the Yankees are coming.  Jeez, does everybody know about this guy except for me?  Why is that surprising to me?

"“An employee for one of the smaller-market clubs watching Cespedes said that if the Yankees want him, the Yankees will get him.”—Tim Brown, Yahoo! Sports"

The outfielder will be looking for an “Aroldis Chapman,” or as its called in the civilian world, “$30 million.”  And subsequent viewing sessions of his abilities have been requested by the Yankees, Marlins, and Phillies.

As a big market team, the Phillies are going to sniff around every blip on the radar they choose, and with a prospect this… loud… they’ve obviously got to take a look.  Even if they should maintain deep interest in Cespedes, you’ve got to think the Yankees, not used to so much scorn from players, are much like a feral animal at this point and will bite open somebody’s jugular just to get to Cespedes.  If they want him.

But now that we’ve seen what will get the Phillies, attention, I have green lit my own baseball video project, in which I claim to be able to hit a wiffle ball over my house, become inconsolable after the first 30 attempts, shriek at the camera person, then throw the bat at the house, break a window, and shout “Run before my dad comes!”

It was honestly the best example of my skills I could find on tape.  But I better hurry because this concept is somehow losing momentum with the public.