Archive for October, 2011

Some people are delusional. And are completely unaware of the ease with which a possum can crawl through your bedroom window.

Now this website will be devoted to what is to come, an offseason in which Ryan Howard will be recovering from surgery and there will be constant inquiries into the ability of this team to succeed going forward.

If we can’t get an answer from Wikipedia, why not ask the Orioles of the Last Seven Years (the ones in which Joe was employed by them)?

“MORE CORTISONE,” the Phillies trainers shouted, shattering the glass casing that read “Break in case of anything,” and dragging the firehose-esque device out. Placido Polanco wanted to avoid such treatment, but by the end of the season, it was the only thing keeping him alive.  Rumors say.  Rumors started on this website.  Today. But he did have a sports hernia, which he played through, but unfortunately is like a dump truck trying to drive at full speed with a mailbox stuck in the front tire.  Its not an issue all the time, but when you’re going pretty hard, it comes [...]

My god. We’re actually letting history repeat itself. When has that ever gone wrong.

What happened to Ryan Howard is gross.  What’s going on inside of his body is a horrible thing.  Its now a war between his injury and the ability of his body to repair itself. Thankfully, we don’t live in an age where 3/4 of remedies are “amputation.”  This is modern medicine!  There’s lasers and shit everywhere!  Ryan will be back in no time.  Or he would be if we were still playing baseball. It didn’t take more than one trip to the grocery store on his hoveround for the Phillies to get Ryan into surgery.  His ruptured Achilles, normally a [...]

After seven season of “amateur scouting development,” Joe appears ready to mature and blossom into a full-fledged scout for the Phillies

You’ve probably heard of this site Call to the Pen by now.  It’s this incredibly informative source of MLB news, as well as careful, if at times frantic, editorials on baseball’s other topics.  Basically, it’s everything you’ve been looking for in the internet–and more!!  But not unrealistically more.  Nobody promised you that.  Nobody promised you anything. It’s a perfectly feasible, approachable amount of stuff.  About baseball.  You’ll love it. Anyways, Call to the Pen is in the middle of revealing who we the editors loved so much in 2011 that we would like to bestow upon them the honor of [...]

Instead of letting your focus land on those celebrating Cardinals and how satisfying it would be to throw a boot at each and every one of them, consider the crumpled mess of a first baseman lying in the base path.

The point is, change is inevitable. Which doesn’t necessarily mean that suffering is too, but yeah, though; suffering is, too.