Delusion Helpful When Saying Phillies Will be Totally Fine

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Some people are telling you not to worry or whine.  Some people are content with where the Phillies season ended and whereit  will go in 2012.  Some people don’t sleep with a hatchet under their pillow.

Some people are delusional.  And are completely unaware of the ease with which a possum can crawl through your bedroom window.

Don’t listen to these people.  The Phillies fanscape should be in a constant state of arm-flailing, pants-pissing chaos.  You may have woken up this morning and been all right with the world, but the truth is, you have lulled yourself into an ignorant hallucination.

How do you get out of it?  I don’t really know.  Maybe the sudden shock of waking up in mid-possum attack will jolt you from this state.

“A bat here and an arm there will do the trick for next year—that, and timely hitting in October.”

–Mike Bertha, Philadelphia Magazine

 

It’s that sort of in depth analysis that brings comfort to the masses.  All we need is a hitter and a pitcher and then have everything go extremely well late in the season!  That’s so easy you can fit it all into one sentence!

It’s just odd that that sentence appears immediately after this one.

“On paper they were built to win a championship, but baseball is a tricky sport. One or two at-bats can change the course of a season.”

–Same Guy, Same Magazine

I’m not sure if describing baseball as easier than it is in reality is the best way to convince people the Phillies will be okay.  Baseball will not mysteriously bend to the current skill level of a certain team, unless this is 2010 and you’re the Giants.

The “older player who has phenomenal season from nowhere” thing can happen once, maybe twice, on the same team.  And that’s usually separated into a hitter and a pitcher.  Math tells us that the Phillies will all be one year older in 2012, and baseball calcuations tell us that they will all be another year into an unavoidable regression.

Everybody can’t be the quirky old guy whose great for no reason.  I mean, they can, I guess… and they were.  On this very team.

Our pitching staff keeps us in it and offense can summon enough strength to be effective, but we cannot simplify our issues into a shrug and a wink because its already the offseason and we forget what baseball looks like.

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Tags: Media Offseason Philadelphia Magazine

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