Charlie Manuel Waits for Placido Polanco to Leave; Calls Other Third Baseman

“MORE CORTISONE,” the Phillies trainers shouted, shattering the glass casing that read “Break in case of anything,” and dragging the firehose-esque device out.

Placido Polanco wanted to avoid such treatment, but by the end of the season, it was the only thing keeping him alive.  Rumors say.  Rumors started on this website.  Today.

But he did have a sports hernia, which he played through, but unfortunately is like a dump truck trying to drive at full speed with a mailbox stuck in the front tire.  Its not an issue all the time, but when you’re going pretty hard, it comes up more often.

We’re all driving around in dump trucks, right?  That’s an apt, relate-able metaphor?  Great.

What I’m saying is that Polly had a mailbox stuck in his back for a good part of the season, and it took his hitting down from “always” to “what the hell is that?”  His defense seems like it never drops below “constant,” but regardless, the thought of an upgrade over our oldest infielder (36) has crossed a few minds.

Including Charlie Manuel’s, who went public with some statements regarding third base.

Polly was once the solution to the very problem he now presents.  Years of Bells and Nunezes and Felizes left us with sharp gloves in the hot corner and flailing OPS in the batter’s box.  Then Polly came along, and we were like, “What’s up?”  And he was all, “I’m back!”  And we were like, “Oh, that’s right, you totally played here before Chase Utley was famous.”

But now we’re entering an age where raw talent is clear, but health is not.  That time when players are primed to win and healthy enough to throw their bodies around like lunatics is behind us, and while several mainstays will still be around, guys like Polanco may wind up being a liability.  Until we get some younger kid out there with his cleats untied, stumbling to make a stop that Polly would have been fireballing to first base by now.

There are other weak point to be neutralized first, but the fact that Charlie mentioned this out loud and to reporters indicates it is beyond the mere blitherings of the internet.