Hey, what would the MLB Playoffs be without some brainless, gutless, clueless, incompetent, incoherent, stubborn, childish, inexplicable, yet totally employed utter jackass fucking things up for everybody whose efforts to get there go beyond answering the phone and being told to go?
They would be great. Is the answer.
But that’ too much to ask, because not only is MLB okay with keeping Angel Hernandez–and the equally all of those things Joe West–on the payroll, they’re letting them take point in two different post season series’s!
Fortunately, the swift Hammer of Justice that MLB’s brass is known for took action this past season, splitting the Dynamic Duo up and making it so that they can be terrible in two different places at once. That way, the Phillies and Cardinals, beginning Saturday at 5:07 in Philly, only get the Angel Hernandez Experience, rather than the Blue Cowboy & Friends Carnival of Twisted Screwjobs that went down at least four or five times a season before their divorce.
So this weekend, when you’re inconsolably furious because Angel Hernandez called a balk on Ryan Howard or collided with Charlie Manuel during the pre-game lineup card exchange and attempted to banned him from baseball for life, just keep in mind that somebody in MLB’s Offices considers him intelligent enough to make decisions during baseball’s most intense part of the season.