Blogging can be tough. Look at me, I just posted a 200-word ditty accompanied by a .jpg of somebody else’s column I doodled on and called it a day! That writer’s in the Hall of Fame, too. I tell ya. Early-twentysomethings these days. Then again, some of Eric Bruntlett’s clothes are in the HOF too, so… you know.
Anyway, for years now, we bloggers have been using any and all updates of Harry Kalas’ statue as an excuse to blog our mushy little brains out. Is it happening? How’s it going? Is it done? Why isn’t it done? Can we see it? Why not? Is it invisible? And so forth.
Now, though, we will be able to glance at Harry’s immortalized likeness with actual human eyes. This Sunday, the Harry Kalas statue to end all Harry Kalas statues is being accepted at Citizens Bank Park.
Unlike the statue I suggested–“Harry Kalas in a dense jungle, his hair messed up, his face covered in dirt, the sleeves of his suit jacket torn off revealing rippling biceps, and a massive set of teeth marks slashed across his chest; cradling a baby Phanatic while it sleeps in one arm and silently ordering a team of commandos to stand down with the other, having just rescued the innocent creature from the jaws of an enormous jaguar whose carcass lies several yards behind them”–the sculptor, Lawrence J. Nolan, chose to illustrate Harry doing something from his real life: standing and smiling with one hand in his pocket.
Classy? Sure. But I don’t know why you’d blow the chance to tell a solid origin story. This feels exactly like when my Arts in America professor gave me a “Nice try!” for my concept for a new statue on Temple University’s campus–“A huge, demonic owl descending upon the mascots of the other four Philly Five schools as they cower in sheer terror at what’s about to happen to them.” I also wanted to tear down the Bell Tower to do it. Some people just can’t help but stand in the way of progress.
Being Alumni Weekend, it’s probably the perfect time to be doing this… almost as if the Phillies planned it that way. Dozens of former players will be around, and not just the ones who always seem to be hanging around like Greg Luzinski and Mitch Williams. Members of Harry’s family and reps from Dear Harry, inc. are also making the trip. Marty Bystrom will not be there.
All that’s missing is you. Why are you so terrible?
So, join hands and celebrate this long-awaited and much-deserved honor for our dearly departed Voice. You shall never read about it on a blog again, probably.