Archive for July, 2011

They accepted the blame and promised to do better, rather than panicking, deciding that life on the lam and out of Sister Mary Patrick’s jurisdiction was worth the risk, and jumping out the first floor window.

It seems that scoring four runs in the final two innings of last night’s comeback has sparked the Phillies offense. They got to the Cub hurlers for twelve hits and nine runs today. Jimmy Rollins hit a home run from each side of the plate accomplishing the feat for the first time since 2006.

The Mets aren’t even dealing with an irate Danny Glover painting their faces with spittle.

“Including Dumb Ones,” source says

They scored two more runs in the ninth with a pair of singles from Ben Francisco and Jimmy Rollins with the game winning hit coming on another bloop hit from Michael Martinez. This is the second recent game in which Michael Martinez has been the offensive star. What the hell is going on?

Oh, Doc had a little sweat problem last night. Joe Blanton is dead* and you don’t even bat an eyelid. Terrible.

The only good thing to spring forth from this pile of excrement was that Roy Halladay was not injured, just hot. Aramis Ramirez and Carlos Pena hit home runs and everyone except Alfonzo Soriano contributed offensively.

Mike Quade recently determined that in order for the Cubs to get better, the pitching will need to “improve.” How do you see this plan playing out?

Why don’t you cram it, Mark Parent.

And what this all means is that filling column space on an off day is really sometimes a pain.