Halladay Goes 0-3 With Two Strikeouts and Six Left on Base

Roy Halladay did not have a real good day at the plate today.  Luckily he threw seven innings of one hit ball and made the Pirates looks really silly.  It also helped that the rest of the offense showed up tonight and pounded the living hell out of Roy look alike Charlie Morton.

Remember the last time that we saw Charlie Morton?  If years of recreational drug use have rendered your memory suspect at best, here is a hint; he beat Kyle Kendrick with a seven inning two earned run performance.  He did not fare quite as well tonight.  His line was diametrically opposed to his previous start against the Phils as he went four innings while allowing nine hits and eight runs.  Halladay may have struggled to make contact off of Morton, but everyone else seemed to have little trouble crushing him.  This is the type of outing that Morton had before he attempted to do stuff like Roy Halladay.

Roy Halladay also throws like Roy Halladay and had results that can easily be attributed to a pitcher of Roy Halladay’s stature.  He is fucking awesome.  The fact that the Phils scored a bunch of runs also gave them the ability to remove Halladay from the game after 98 pitches.  I would assume that they just told him that the game was rained out and locked him in the player lounge.  Well played Charlie Manual.

Some stars of the offensive outburst were Chase Utley (3-5, with four RBI, falling a double shy of the cycle), Shane Victorino (3-5 falling a homer shy of the cycle) and Jimmy Rollins (2-4 with two RBI and two runs scored).  Domonic Brown, Raul Ibanez and Ryan Howard all contributed one RBI a piece.

The only upsetting part of the this game centered around Drew Carpenter.  He is fucking terrible.  I suppose he will be back in the minors when the Phils get Roy Oswalt back.  He gave up three runs to make the score 10-3.  Good riddance.

I have always been a fan of the blowout.  Sure a pitchers duel may be considerably more exciting, but there is something comforting about the blowout.  There is nothing like the snug, warm, consoling feeling of scoring ten runs in the first two innings of a game.  On that note, I am going to bed.

Tomorrow, Cliff Lee takes another shot at his tenth win as the Pirates send out James McDonald.  We will probably get to see new Phillie Hunter Pence on Sunday night.  Damn it feels good to be a gangster.

Topics: Ass Stomping, Chase Utley, Philadelphia Eagles, Roy Halladay, Shane Victorino

Want more from That Balls Outta Here?  
Subscribe to FanSided Daily for your morning fix. Enter your email and stay in the know.
  • rumbunter

    Congrats. Burn in hell

TEAMFeed More Phillies news from the Fansided Network

Hot on the Web From golf.com