“I don’t know why you think I can’t see you,” Charlie Manuel recently reported during a game break in Chicago yesterday. “Yeah, that’s right. You. I’m talking to you.”
Manuel went on to express disgust at your arrogance for assuming he was too old and folksy to be aware of your presence.
“You’re right fucking there, clearly. Stop trying to hide behind that throw pillow. You’re distracting my players with this crap. We’re trying to have a conversation about baseball here and your clowning around isn’t helping.”
Manuel explained he was sick of people assuming he was consistently oblivious to things like bullpen management, baseball strategy, and people watching him.
“Why don’t you get a girlfriend like me? Maybe that’ll take up some of your time so you don’t have to sit on the couch eating ice cream by the handful,” Manuel suggested.
When asked about the seemingly omnipresent nature of his manager’s statements, a clearly unnerved Jimmy Rollins stated, “I have no idea what he’s talking about.”