Phils Hook Marlins (fish puns are AWESOME!)

I have a few observations from today’s Phillies/Marlins baseball contest.  First, Greg Dobbs no longer has side burns.  Second, Hanley Ramirez really does not give a shit.  Can you imagine if someone in this town was that talented and flushed it down the toilet by being an insufferable, indolent malcontent?  Third, this Marlins team looks like it is going to kill Jack McKeon.  The Phillies won the game 14-2.

Cole Hamels got hit by a line drive in his last start and there was some banter concerning his ability to make his next start.  Today was his next start and he threw eight innings of two run ball.  At this point I feel fairly confidant in pronouncing Hamels healthy.  His only blemish was a two run home run by John Buck.  At this point I feel fairly confidant in pronouncing John Buck stupid.  John Buck is stupid.

Chris Volstad opposed Hamels for the first four innings of today’s game.  He can not get Phillies players out with any consistency.  His final line included nine hits and seven runs in his four innings.  He also allowed yet another home run to Ryan Howard.  He was partially done in by throwing the ball to John Buck.

The Phillies offense totaled a season high eighteen hits and scored a season high fourteen runs.  Ryan Howard took over the lead league in RBI by knocking in four runs.  He also went 4-5 and hit his eighteenth home run of the year.  Raul Ibanez also totaled four RBI an hit his tenth home run of the year.  You know that the offense is having a great day when Michael Martinez hits a bases loaded triple.

The Phillies try to sweep the Marlins with Kyle Kendrick on the mound tomorrow.  The Marlins respond with a serviceable major league pitcher in the name of Anibal Sanchez.

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Tags: Chris Volstad Cole Hamels Florida Marlins John Buck Is Stupid Philadelphia Phillies Raul Ibanez Ryan Howard

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