Larry Greene is Your Next Player to be Constantly Compared to Ryan Howard

Hello, Larry Greene!  Welcome to the next phase of your baseball-playing career.  Why, if you’re lucky, you could have an illustrious life in a Phillies uniform, followed by several years of fiery downspiraling until your life is a series of ever-weakening punchlines smeared across the internet.

Will you be a legend?  A bust?  We all get to find out, and we get to do it together, over the next few years.  LOL, internet!

Isn’t this fun?!

First, there’s no need to look at the first overall pick with any sort of envy.  I’ve played in the Pirates’ Minor League system* and I can tell you from personal experience that it is just adequate at best.  The run support isn’t always there when you need it, you can hear your neighbors’ kids through the wall, and your friend keeps poking you and saying “Why can’t you just buy your own PlayStation?”

The Phillies probably see a ton of familiarity in Larry.  He’s been called “a physical beast” and “an aggressive free-swinger.”  He also “strikes out a ton.”  If you see the parallel that I–and every other person with a keyboard and a Phillies hat–am/are drawing.

In his historically tragic corner of Georgia, Larry’s 2010 season had a lot in common with the Phillies, too; spastic fits of glory followed by injections of fast-moving poison.  In lew of an NLCS loss to the Giants, Larry was forced to scream silently from the on-deck circle as Berrien High School tumbled and fell in the playoffs to Pierce County, despite a seven-run rally in Game 2.

The memories of that game, of staring helplessly while his teammates gurgled and died out there, undoubtedly haunted the young man until the endless string of prospect workouts began for Major league teams.  In St. Louis, he challenged fellow tryer-outer Alex Dickerson to a home run contest, and emerged victorious after hitting one.

And then, with the 39th pick, he wound up in our laps, huge muscles and all, and got to stand on stage, hold a jersey and get his picture taken with Joe Torre.  What else could a young baseball player ask for?

“Millions of dollars”?

Okay, yeah.

But let’s see how far “aggressive free swinging” gets him first.

Then again, there’s no real way to draft right anyway.

*in MLB 2K11: The Show