Yes, in news that is at least two days old at this point, Chase Utley is starting for the Clearwater Threshers. On Thursday, he’ll be playing with Chooch and Roy Oswalt, in what absolutely has to be the most legendary Clearwater Thresher game of all time.
But Chase Utley doesn’t care. He just wants to tear up the minors until he returns to his rightful place; and he doesn’t care how many career utility infielders or Rule 5 Draft picks he has to plow through to get there.
The streets of Philadelphia were starting to no longer run with the bodily fluids of our wounded players; partially because they were starting to heal, and partially because the streets were being constructed out of giant sponges that prevent any fluids from flowing at all.*
*This was clearly written prior to Brian Schneider blowing a tire tonight.
In other news, Heath Ledger has died.