And Now a Message from a Talking Beard

There’s been way, way too much debate over what our reactions to Jayson Werth in Philadelphia should be.  Why not just ask the beard himself, @JWerthsBeard? It’s a far more reliable source, and it won’t just up and leave you in the dust for tons of money (LOL Housenick’d).

Why, hello there!  Jayson Werth’s beard aka @JWerthsBeard here.  Long time, no see!

What a wild and strange journey it has been. Upon arriving in Clearwater in February of 2010, very few of you could have ever imagined that I would go on to become the richest beard of all time in Major League Baseball.

So why am I here posting on this now rival team’s blog?  Well, my good pal Justin wanted to put to rest this whole boo debate.

As Shakespeare once put it, “To boo or not to boo, that is the question.”  To answer this question (or any other question, for that matter), you first have to ask yourself, “What would Jayson Werth’s Beard Do?” as opposed to “What would Mandy Housenick / David Murphy (not to be confused with the awesome meteorologist David Murphy, of course) do?”

You do whatever you want, because NOBODY tells Jayson Werth’s beard what to do, that’s what!  Back during our introductory press conference in DC, I was reduced to a soul patch without any advanced warning.  Do you think I just quieted abided?

NO!  I was like, “AWW HELL NO!  You best grow me back, son!  I made you a $126 million superstar!”  Then by Spring Training, BOOM, I’m full grown again, and the DC folks are in awe.  Even their supposed grooming rules haven’t been able to stop me.

In conclusion, would a nice round of applause for the initial introduction be great?  Yes, but the bottom line is that it is your prerogative.

Now excuse me while I go help my owner prepare to crush Philadelphia.  [EDITOR’S NOTE:  Hey what the]