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R.A. Dickey Comes to Terms with Mets Being Terrible

“I think we have to find some kind of way to be honest about what kind of team we are. We can’t just keep telling ourselves, ‘We’re a better team than this.’ We may not be.”

–R.A. Dickey

You can’t do that.

You can’t say your own team is really, really bad.  What happened to false hope and chronic depression?  Is all of this going in R.A.’s really, really well-written book? WHY ARE YOU RUINING YOUR SUCKING FOR US?!

Okay… okay.  Maybe this isn’t as bad as we think.

Has anyone asked R.A.’s teammates about this?  Is this the start of a locker room civil war?  Though I guess for the Mets at this point that would hardly be news.  Its just that, it was already getting hard to make fun of the Mets without feeling like you were standing at the top of a staircase, pointing and laughing at a dog with his hind legs in one of those wheely carts.  And now, if they’re going to start employing that whole “Yeah, we do suck… good point,” the small amount of sick joy we still get from hating them gets a little smaller.

So… they’re doing this on purpose, right?  Remember, Dickey is “…far more literary than most pro athletes,” according to the NY Times, so his intelligence level is obviously through the roof.  Its always the case with knuckleballers.  You know that Tim Wakefield is one of the founding members of NASA, right?

This is like a computer becoming sentient and then trying to take over the world (But then it can’t because it realizes it is horribly obsolete).  The only thing to do is retreat into your Mets moment–the very personal core from which all spiraling, poisoned branches of hatred grow.

For me, it was at a game in Citizens Bank Park in 2006.  This was when Mets fans still bothered to show their faces around there and we still bothered to throw garbage at them.  Some ignorant woman in a Jose Reyes jersey was skipping by the 140 sections in left field and getting booed.

“METS SUCK!” my cousin screamed.

“CHECK THE STANDINGS!” she yelled back, in a way that made you think she was probably going to go do something vile.

And she was right, of course.  We all knew it.  In my head, I thought, “Ooooooo.  If only we could be ahead of the Mets in the standings, we’d be invincible.”

Fortunately, the next four years happened.

Tags: Knuckleball Mets Phillies R.A. Dickey Sucking

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