Chooch Doesn’t Start, Goes 2-2 With Five RBI

Why the hell would any company want to use Randy Johnson as a spokesperson?  Not that I am an expert on handsomeness, but Randy is not the most attractive man in the world and that coupled with the fact that he is extremely surly would lead me to believe that no company would ask him to be a shill for their product.  Today’s Phillies broadcast proved me wrong by running a commercial for Just For Men hair coloring product featuring Walt Fraizer, Keith Hernandez, Emmit Smith and the aforementioned Randy Johnson.  Takes all kinds I suppose.  Maybe they are attacking the 6’10” bird-like asshole market.  Now onto today’s game.

Cliff didn’t pitch real well yesterday, so the time was right to trot out another ace to help ease the pain.  Enter Roy Oswalt.  Little Roy went six innings, allowing five hits and one earned run.  Apparently the only successful starters on the Phillies happen to be named Roy.  Oswalt was only hit hard by Braves shortstop Alex Gonzalez with went 2-2 with a pair of doubles off of the diminutive ace.  He also wriggled free of a bases loaded jam in the sixth inning by shattering Jason Heyward’s bat and getting him to pop-up on the infield.

The Braves sent rookie Brandon Beachy to oppose the Phils.  Beachy won the fifth starter job for the Braves this summer by out-deuling their number three overall prospect Mike Minor.  Beachy matched Roy early on, but allowed Brian Schnieder to smash his first home run of the year after walking Raul Ibanez on four pitches in the top of the fourth inning.  The Phils have seen Beachy a few times now and they are finally starting to put good at bats together against the young right hander.  Beachy went six plus innings, allowed seven hits and four runs.

Beachy’s afternoon ended after a well struck double by Ibanez in the top of the seventh inning.  He was replaced by George Sherrill.  Remember when Sherrill was a serviceable major league pitcher?  I believe that these days are gone.  Sherrill proceeded to allow a pinch hit single to John Mayberry and managed to walk the unwalkable Wilson Valdez.  If you are counting, this loaded the bases and led to another pitching change.  Scott Linebrink entered the game with Phillies leading the game 3-2.  Charlie Manual countered by bringing Carlos Ruiz off the bench.  Chooch responded by depositing Linebrink’s 0-2 fastball into the left field bleachers for his first career grand slam.  Chooch added an RBI double later in the game to reach a new career high with five RBI.  Linebrink left the game with the Phillies leading 8-2.

The Phillies catcher tandem went 3-4 with seven RBI and two home runs leading the Phils to a 10-2 victory.  The offense pounded out fifteen hits and provided enough of a cushion that Charlie felt comfortable using Danys Baez (he inexplicably has a 0.00 ERA thus far).

In summation, the game started out tight, but the Phils blew the game open off of the Brave’s vaunted bullpen.

Tomorrow the Phils go for the series sweep win hoping for a bounce back outing from Cole Hamels who is opposed by Derek Lowe.