Brad Lidge Still Okay, Understands Why You Asked

Is there a greater test of man than facing off against the brute force of the Pittsburgh Pirates minor league system?

Like the concerned parent of a horny teenager, the press and fans feel compelled to keep checking in on Brad while he’s downstairs “watching a movie” with his lady friend.  Fortunately, Brad’s medical issues of late make him the equivalent of a kid whose overwhelming orthodontal work serves as his own personal, unending cock block.  Unfortunately, he wants to pitch so badly that he may just rip off his headgear and go for it but damn it Bradley that stuff cost twelve and a half million dollars.

Brad took his mostly okay arm that was chock full of tendinitis on March 11 out for a spin yesterday against some Pirates minor leaguers, and then was accosted after the game by worried/objectively inquisitive journalists and one guy who looked like he was there to sell sunglasses.

Brad’s 16 pitches never flirted with anything over 87 mph, but they only got one hit past him and then he struck a guy out, so draw from that what you will.  It should probably be “I can’t shake the feeling that Brad Lidge seems very fragile at the moment, but I guess he’s still recovering, and how much are you asking for those sunglasses, sir?”

"“Obviously command and velocity are good, but if I get a good angle down on my fastball, I can get people to swing at my slider.”"

Shhh, Brad, shut up!  People don’t know they’re not supposed to swing at your slider yet.