Phils Get Tuffy, Gosewisch Walks Off Against Pirates

He was born James Benjamin Gosewisch in Freeport Illinois.  Somewhere along the line, young James was gifted with the moniker Tuffy.  Using all the resources that the interwebs afford people writing blogs, I couldn’t find out how James Benjamin became Tuffy.  However, I did find out that there was an ancillary character on the Tom and Jerry show named Tuffy.  I also found out that the person that assassinated James Garfield was from Freeport, Illinois.

When Tuffy does something that contributes to a win, anyone with the ability to string two sentences together feels a unavoidable obligation to use it in an awful pun.  Tuffy Gosewisch kind of sounds like the name of a minor league mascot.  Rest assured, Tuffy currently resides on the minor league field and has not yet transitioned to top of dugout antics.  Word on the street is that he puts hex on opposing pitchers, but is not yet doing it professionally.

The Phillies came to Bright House Field today to oppose the other team in Pennsylvania, the Pittsburg Pirates.  The Phillies seem to be playing this team very often.  What this does to those of us attempting to come up with something witty to say about the game, is force a dredging of all our baseball knowledge in an attempt to keep people from searching for porn on the internet.  Obviously the draw of Tuffy Gosewisch is way too interesting for any of you to search elsewhere.

Roy Oswalt threw for the Phillies and random pitcher Brad Lincoln went today for the Pirates.  Lee and Hamels struggled in their last outings, giving rise to a growing segment of people worrying about the pitching staff.  Oswalt went six innings, gave up five hits, hit a batter and struck out five.  Roy gave up two unearned runs and threw over 90% of his pitches for strikes.  Oswalt commanded his fastball and did his best to quiet the chorus of malcontents attempting to harsh our collective optimism.

The Phils offense struggled against Lincoln who is battling to become the Pirates fifth starter.  Paul Maholm is the Pirates ace coming off of a 9-15 campaign with a 5.10 ERA.  This may give you a window into the skill level of the Pittsburg rotation.  Lincoln read the Phillies the Gettysburg address (Tuffy isn’t the only one whose name screams “Come up with a wretch inducing pun”) going 2 2/3 innings allowing one hit, walking two and allowing one run.

The score was 2-1 Pirates in the bottom of the ninth inning.  Enter former Marlin Chris Leroux.  Charlie Manuel decides that this is the moment to unveil his new all bunt offense (Victorino gave us a glimpse earlier this spring) as Ben Francisco and Pete Orr both reached on bunt singles.  They were moved up with a ground out by Michael Martinez, setting the stage for Tuffy.  Gosewisch hit a single, won the game and allowed us all to dream as to what is possible when you have an awesome nickname.  I wonder why its not spelled Toughy?

Next up for the Phils Hamels starts against the Orioles tomorrow at 1:05.